One of the goals of this blog is to encourage dads along their journey of fatherhood. One of the ways that I want to do that is to tell the story of regular dads here in this blog. Dads just like you who have many of the same stressors, time limitations, personal issues and struggles.
I’m starting off with a relatively young dad who I have known for over a decade. Jay Anderson is the Youth Pastor at First Baptist Church in Vidor, Texas. He is married to Rachel and they have 2 children. He graduated from Texas A&M University with a degree in Recreation Park and Tourism Sciences. Here’s Jay…
What is your biggest challenge in being intentional with your kids?
My biggest challenge in being intentional with my kids is the end of the work day ‘low’. After hours of coffee intake and different work responsibilities I get home, grab the kids and realize after a few minutes of intentionality that I may have dozed off and I’m not sure for how long. But I can always count on the kids to body slam me in just the right place to give me a quick jolt.
What is your favorite memory with your family?
My favorite family memories are about as boring as they come. A true day off is hard to come by in ministry but when they do we are always doing something. There are times where Mother Nature intrudes on those plans and it becomes a snuggle-on-the-couch, hide-n-seek, candy-land kind of day. It’s those days that stick with me the most, where I realize that in the end not only are these my kids and she my wife, but these are the people I want to spend everyday with, and that quality time isn’t an obligation.
How do you and your wife work together to be intentional in the lives of your kids?
My wife is a rockstar, and I’m more of the guy in charge of lights and sound. She is simultaneously caring for a 6 month old, entertaining and educating a 3 year old, cooking 5-star meals, cleaning a house, and cultivating a home life for our kids that point them to Jesus. Without her I don’t know how our home would function. Not that my role as family dinner devotion leader and evening entertainer aren’t valid roles, I just will forever be indebted to my wife’s sacrificial love.
What would you say to another Dad to encourage him in intentionality with his family?
There is no cookie cutter “How to be a successful Discipling Dad” guide. Well, the Bible, but other than that, there isn’t anything. Life throws curveball after curveball and sometimes family dinner looks like Taco Bell on the living room floor watching 90’s cartoons to brainwash your children. But what matters most is that you keep yourself rooted in scripture, in God’s love and let that flow from you. Not everyday needs to be Instagram worthy, but everyday needs to be filled with love.
What is your favorite family activity?
By far my favorite family activity is family dinners and not just because my wife could put Pioneer Woman out of a job. It is a time we have cultivated to be filled with prayer and conversation. Granted sometimes the day goes off the rails, or we have ministry obligations and we improvise, but we never compromise that time together as a family. It is what I look forward to every day.
Is there anything you would do different as a dad?
I can look back and critique so many things I have done wrong. I’ve spoken out in anger, I’ve manipulated situations to meet selfish needs, the list goes on. But what it all comes down to is that when I am distant from the Lord, the flesh takes over. What I have learned and work to correct everyday is leaning on the Lord with everything. Ultimately what I would do differently is go back to before marriage and work in my intentional relationship with the Lord. I played a lot of catch-up in my walk with God in marriage and into parenthood. But if I could go back and learn discipline and be focused on His word and truth, I would.
Thank you Jay!
If you would like to share your story, send an email with answers to one or all of the questions above, as well as a family photo to sray61@gmail.com
You can do this, dad!